Hey Folks
Sorry I've been a bit quiet for a while. Not really been feeling in a bloggy frame of mind recently, and have been very busy with the shift in our routine that's resulted from William starting school full time back in September.
There hasn't really been much to report up to now, he seems to be doing pretty well, he's settled with his new classmates, but I've no idea who his classmates are. Last year we picked him up from school as he was on half days, but now he's full time the transport bus picks up and drops him off for us, so we have less regular contact with school. There are now 19 children in Early Learners (compared to 9 last year), so there are 2 teachers and several teaching assistants.
One issue with starting school is his fussy eating. He can take or leave food (unless its haribos or cake) he prefers to graze and will often turn down meals at home and elsewhere. I've been told he usually chooses sandwiches, and I can bet your arse he's picking the fillings out and whizzing them or wiping them on someone elses jumper. I thought that being on school dinners might have encouraged him to eat a variety of foods but he's playing safe so far. I'm not too worried for now. I try different foods on his plate at home and always get the look of disgust where vegetables are concerned.
At school he seems like the perfect pupil. He does as he's told, when supported. He sits down, doesn't run off, will have nappy changed without issue. Basically the opposite to whatever he's like at home. He enjoys music and has been learning to sing. In fact, he's been singing today, the Hello song. He sang it about 50 times today (no exaggeration) one after the other. It really hurt my brain but I had to put on a brave face and say "Yay well done William" After. Every. Bloody. Song.
Sleeping is still a major issue. "Oh he'll sleep better when he's full time" I'm told. Ho ho ho I think not. If anything it's worse. He's pretty exhausted after a full day of mooching and learning, which can result in passing out on the couch while Dad makes tea. Then anything over 30 seconds of shut eye can guarantee he'll be up till late as he recharges his batteries with his micro nap. He has learned how to say "Morning" though, and will come into my room in the morning and climb on me, occasionally sitting on my throat whilst doing it. Wakes me up anyway.
October saw the little munchkin turn 5! 5! My god, no longer a baby. 2 and a half years since our diagnosis, and what a long way we've come and what fabulous people we've met on the way. It almost seems like the dark days are a distant memory, and perhaps I've truly accepted the life we have now. Autism doesn't faze me much any more. I don't even think about it. In the past I may have excused his behaviour because of his autism, or I may have even gone around telling folks about it so that they may understand why he squeaks or flaps or barges unsuspecting small children out of the way to get to the slide. I find I don't really do that anymore unless someone asks or tries to talk to him and he can't respond.
I digress. Birthdays! William doesn't really get the idea of birthdays yet, but this is the first year he's taken notice and has really enjoyed it. We didn't wrap all of his presents, he hasn't quite figured out the whole unwrapping thing, but his face when he saw all of his new stuff set up on his birthday morning was a picture. He even had a smile when we all sang happy birthday to him at our family tea party. I think it was clear to us that William is very different to his brother when it comes to things like this. His brother Alex (7) likes tat. Small crap tat. The more small crap tat the better. He would be overwhelmed with a bathful of cheap small plastic crap tat. The sort of crap tat that you "accidentally throw away" when they're at school cos you're sick of seeing it shoved down the couch or floating in your coffee year after year. It'll probably be worth something in a few years and i'll be crying into my Asda smart price sherry.
William prefers good stuff, quality workmanship! So it tends to be quality rather than quantity. He doesn't have fads like his brother, apart from Iggle Piggle, which may remain a favourite for life. I hope not, there's only so many recitals of Iggle Piggle episodes that I can cope with. This year he got lego, a big crane set to go with his wooden train track, and a scooter. And he loves it all. I'm glad we managed to upgrade the scooter from his little toddler scooter. He has some deep attachments to his old stuff so I thought the change in scooter might have been an issue, but he was bent over the old one like a little old man so it definitely needed to go! Its gone to a good home (its been given to his school for the little ones to use). I'm hoping he doesn't see it and try to being it home again......
Today we had a lovely trip to soft play with some of Williams school chums. I didn't organise a proper party as he's not really into the novelty aspect of that, he doesn't play party games and woe betide if someone shouts over a tannoy that he has to come off the equipment for something so mediocre as food. It was a bloody amazing morning, and the first time that I have seen William actively seek the company of a particular child, a lovely young chap who is in his class, who shall be known as "J". Admittedly I got all blubby when I saw them together, William shouting to J to come on the slide. Seeing William open doors in the soft play so he could get through. Its hard to explain that feeling in your heart when you see that your child has a friend, a "proper" friend, and they really seem to be friends. I've waited so long to see William connect with someone like that, and friendship/companionship is something I've always desperately wanted for him. And now it looks like he's developing that skill. Blub. Again
It was fabulous to see the other kids playing too. They were all kids either in his class or who he was in class with last year, and all awesome :D We had arranged to come early just after opening, so it would be nice and quiet. Some parents, me included, feel like trips to soft play or wherever can be daunting when you're worrying about what your kids might get up to, if they'll cope, whether they're going to chuck balls at other people. William nearly pinched a swing ball thing off a little girl and she was most unimpressed. Eek. But they all seemed to have a great time, whether they played with others or just did their own thing. It's given me the confidence to attempt other places in future and perhaps not hide away in my own little bubble so much. Alex had a good play too with his buddy and everyone was happy and relaxed.
There can be a darker side to outings. Sometimes things can go a bit wrong, and that's where we need the understanding and patience off other folk to help us deal with it. Our kids might lash out through misunderstanding or distress. Sometimes other kids get too close and get bumped by accident, perhaps if personal space is an issue. That's not to say that we don't reprimand our kids when they do wrong, cos we do. William can be a sodbag when he wants to be, but I don't let him get away with it. I call Dad instead and he deals with it :P We do need understanding though, and don't need to be told that our kids are out of control or being badly behaved. Cos the majority of the time that really isn't the case, and being given the evils from other parents just makes our life difficult, possibly even making it harder for us to want to come out again.
All kids have a right to play, special needs or not :)
* Laptop battery is dying now so I'll sign off and hope there aren't too many spelling mistakes! *
Oh look! The Pontipines are hogging the slide!
Sunday 18 October 2015
Sunday 23 August 2015
Haven Holidays!
Hello Peoples!
Well tonight is the last night before I go back to work after a week off, with 4 nights spent at Haven near Blackpool with the boys and my Mum and Dad. Jesus Christ what an experience that was!
It takes a lot of planning to go on holiday at the best of times, but when you're bringing your own little sumo wrestler with autism, you need to think ahead. So not a case of how many clothes to bring, its have I got the right kind of clothes for William. He's currently refusing to wear a lot of stuff, so a quick dash to Asda gets me a 3 pack of plain-ish tshirts and me praying at the till that he'll actually wear them. Which he did thankfully.
Do I need his precious blankies? Will he sleep without them? Will he sleep in the duvet cover they provide? Will he sleep in the bedroom there in the caravan? Will he actually get INTO the caravan? Christ I never thought of that. Praying again as I pack the stuff in the bloody case and trying not to think about the possibility of me being seen stuffing a screaming small child up the steps of a caravan and the subsequent police presence.
No Ipads or tablets allowed on this trip. Good idea? Not just because I wanted him to enjoy his trip without computer games, but because I'd like to avoid the costs of repairs should he decide to fling the thing into the caravan windows when Igglepiggle fails to load on YouTube. DVDs instead then. Which was almost a disaster as I got the Igglepiggle DVD jammed in the DVD player.
The boys enjoyed the drive to Blackpool with Grandma and the usual "Oh look there's the tower! Oh silly me its a pylon" x50. William just enjoyed the scenery flinging past his eyes, he seems to quint and look at his surroundings at different angles, which is quite cute to watch and I always wonder what he's really thinking.
We visited Blackpool zoo before we booked in, Alex loves the zoo. William wasn't too bothered about the animals as usual and just pottered about happily and smearing ice cream all over himself.
When walking about we often have to steer him around objects and people, it's like he doesn't really notice they're there. Either that or he really doesn't give two stuffs about what's in his way. I've not decided which yet but knowing William probably the latter. It was a busy day at the zoo and when William starts to repeat words or phrases its a sign that he's not feeling right and its time to go. Alex chose some souvenirs from the shop and off we went to the caravan.
The caravan itself was lovely, quite spacious and William was in his element as he ran about opening doors and shutting them. He loves shower screens, shame he won't get into a bloody shower though. He was happy in the bedroom that Alex chose for them, but i had visions of him blowing up the caravan by switching the heating on and off, but thankfully that never happened.
There were plenty of activities at the holiday park, but as most of these you had to pay for, it wasn't worth trying it. William doesn't usually enjoy set activities, instead choosing to do what he wants and when he wants to. Alex wasn't particularly bothered either, so we spent a lot of time outside of the camp. One thing William did enjoy is putting 2ps in the arcade machines, which proved bloody expensive but he asks for very little.
We spent a day in Blackpool itself, shopping for treats and seeing the beach and tower. It was here that William was most difficult. Having absolutely no sense of danger makes mooching around quite stressful. Its a constant cycle of directing him out of the path of people, grabbing his arm to prevent him going in the road or meandering towards the path of an oncoming tram.
I would consider getting a special needs buggy, but i'm not sure if he would even get into one now as its been so long since he was in a buggy. He certainly wouldn't tolerate reins or a harness. A special needs buggy is an expensive piece of kit though, and second hand ones are snapped up pretty quick. It may have to be a real option though if this continues. Its pretty terrifying, and you really do need eyes at the back of your head. Its stressful and tiring and you can't relax. At least in the zoo it was all contained and safe, although I did consider throwing him over a fence and swapping him for an aardvark.
This is where having the Grandparents comes in handy (as escorts, not for swapping children with aardvarks). Quite often when walking on the promenade, William would dawdle along at snails pace, and Grandad would dawdle alongside him and everyone was happy. I got some quality time with Alex which is so lacking at home due to the high level of adult support that William needs, so we could talk, look at birds on the beach, collect shells etc. That was pretty peaceful :)
Another place where extra hands are handy is in the pool. William is a proper water-baby. He loves everything about swimming. But with that comes his total lack of fear in water, and his insistence of being in the deep end. He has no problem with not putting his feet down, and went under a couple of times as he struggled out of our arms. So another thing on my shopping list is for a large swim ring that he can lounge in, stay in the deep end and still be safe.
One particular notable event was the infamous trip to Stanley Park. We had a lovely morning on the park there, a nice little trip on the Thomas train to the boating lake, and watched Alex and Daddy floating about on the Swan pedal boat (that was a sight!). At this point William is grumpy and tired, and has a big strop on, flinging himself on the floor (nearly getting run over by a sour-faced miserable old cow on a bike to whom I gave an equally sour look). We took the Thomas train back to the park and I foolishly decided to let him have a go on the inflatable slide. Little did I know that there was a ticket system, and we had to WAIT. Bloody hell. Many people with autism find it really difficult to wait, and William is no exception. And we knew it. And so did every person at the park. He could not understand why he couldn't get on that slide right then, so had a full blown meltdown for 10 minutes while we waited our turn. No distractions could console him, it sounded like he was being throttled, and some of the other parents waiting probably wished he would have been. It was my first proper experience of a public meltdown, and it was embarrassing, but I know this won't be the last time and I need to get a thicker skin. It happens, and yeah, to an outsider it would have looked like he was being a shit, but he wasn't. He was genuinely heartbroken until the moment he was allowed on the slide, at which point all was well. Except William is so slow getting up the bloody slide he was holding everyone back so we had to keep shouting at him to get his arse in gear and he only had 5 minutes.
It was a good learning experience really. I know what I can get away with and what I can't. I know what William will tolerate and what he can't. I know what might trigger his meltdowns and possibly avoid those situations. I know that I won't be cursed by refusing to buy lucky heather on the seafront. And I know that I need more clothes packing because Haven charged £7.50 for a wash and dry. Daylight robbery!
All in all it was a wonderful few days away, but I feel that it would be difficult to do this without without the extra pairs of hands from my Mum and Dad. That provided us with some much needed time with each of the boys in turn, and a bit of time to ourselves in the morning too, as the boys gravitated towards Grandma and Grandads room instead of ours :D
If you ever do see someone having a breakdown in public, maybe at the park or when waiting for something, particularly at themeparks, then bear in mind it may be someone with autism. Some attractions offer fast track passes for disabled people who find it difficult to queue, so don't whinge and say "oh they don't look disabled", it might be someone with autism, and its really hard for them and their families, so don't judge. And don't give me sour looks as you nearly run over my child with a bike, cos I'll shove my umbrella in your spokes and then you'll have a reason to be sour.
Don't forget your armbands Wottingers!
Well tonight is the last night before I go back to work after a week off, with 4 nights spent at Haven near Blackpool with the boys and my Mum and Dad. Jesus Christ what an experience that was!
It takes a lot of planning to go on holiday at the best of times, but when you're bringing your own little sumo wrestler with autism, you need to think ahead. So not a case of how many clothes to bring, its have I got the right kind of clothes for William. He's currently refusing to wear a lot of stuff, so a quick dash to Asda gets me a 3 pack of plain-ish tshirts and me praying at the till that he'll actually wear them. Which he did thankfully.
Do I need his precious blankies? Will he sleep without them? Will he sleep in the duvet cover they provide? Will he sleep in the bedroom there in the caravan? Will he actually get INTO the caravan? Christ I never thought of that. Praying again as I pack the stuff in the bloody case and trying not to think about the possibility of me being seen stuffing a screaming small child up the steps of a caravan and the subsequent police presence.
No Ipads or tablets allowed on this trip. Good idea? Not just because I wanted him to enjoy his trip without computer games, but because I'd like to avoid the costs of repairs should he decide to fling the thing into the caravan windows when Igglepiggle fails to load on YouTube. DVDs instead then. Which was almost a disaster as I got the Igglepiggle DVD jammed in the DVD player.
The boys enjoyed the drive to Blackpool with Grandma and the usual "Oh look there's the tower! Oh silly me its a pylon" x50. William just enjoyed the scenery flinging past his eyes, he seems to quint and look at his surroundings at different angles, which is quite cute to watch and I always wonder what he's really thinking.
We visited Blackpool zoo before we booked in, Alex loves the zoo. William wasn't too bothered about the animals as usual and just pottered about happily and smearing ice cream all over himself.
When walking about we often have to steer him around objects and people, it's like he doesn't really notice they're there. Either that or he really doesn't give two stuffs about what's in his way. I've not decided which yet but knowing William probably the latter. It was a busy day at the zoo and when William starts to repeat words or phrases its a sign that he's not feeling right and its time to go. Alex chose some souvenirs from the shop and off we went to the caravan.
There were plenty of activities at the holiday park, but as most of these you had to pay for, it wasn't worth trying it. William doesn't usually enjoy set activities, instead choosing to do what he wants and when he wants to. Alex wasn't particularly bothered either, so we spent a lot of time outside of the camp. One thing William did enjoy is putting 2ps in the arcade machines, which proved bloody expensive but he asks for very little.
We spent a day in Blackpool itself, shopping for treats and seeing the beach and tower. It was here that William was most difficult. Having absolutely no sense of danger makes mooching around quite stressful. Its a constant cycle of directing him out of the path of people, grabbing his arm to prevent him going in the road or meandering towards the path of an oncoming tram.
I would consider getting a special needs buggy, but i'm not sure if he would even get into one now as its been so long since he was in a buggy. He certainly wouldn't tolerate reins or a harness. A special needs buggy is an expensive piece of kit though, and second hand ones are snapped up pretty quick. It may have to be a real option though if this continues. Its pretty terrifying, and you really do need eyes at the back of your head. Its stressful and tiring and you can't relax. At least in the zoo it was all contained and safe, although I did consider throwing him over a fence and swapping him for an aardvark.
This is where having the Grandparents comes in handy (as escorts, not for swapping children with aardvarks). Quite often when walking on the promenade, William would dawdle along at snails pace, and Grandad would dawdle alongside him and everyone was happy. I got some quality time with Alex which is so lacking at home due to the high level of adult support that William needs, so we could talk, look at birds on the beach, collect shells etc. That was pretty peaceful :)
Another place where extra hands are handy is in the pool. William is a proper water-baby. He loves everything about swimming. But with that comes his total lack of fear in water, and his insistence of being in the deep end. He has no problem with not putting his feet down, and went under a couple of times as he struggled out of our arms. So another thing on my shopping list is for a large swim ring that he can lounge in, stay in the deep end and still be safe.
One particular notable event was the infamous trip to Stanley Park. We had a lovely morning on the park there, a nice little trip on the Thomas train to the boating lake, and watched Alex and Daddy floating about on the Swan pedal boat (that was a sight!). At this point William is grumpy and tired, and has a big strop on, flinging himself on the floor (nearly getting run over by a sour-faced miserable old cow on a bike to whom I gave an equally sour look). We took the Thomas train back to the park and I foolishly decided to let him have a go on the inflatable slide. Little did I know that there was a ticket system, and we had to WAIT. Bloody hell. Many people with autism find it really difficult to wait, and William is no exception. And we knew it. And so did every person at the park. He could not understand why he couldn't get on that slide right then, so had a full blown meltdown for 10 minutes while we waited our turn. No distractions could console him, it sounded like he was being throttled, and some of the other parents waiting probably wished he would have been. It was my first proper experience of a public meltdown, and it was embarrassing, but I know this won't be the last time and I need to get a thicker skin. It happens, and yeah, to an outsider it would have looked like he was being a shit, but he wasn't. He was genuinely heartbroken until the moment he was allowed on the slide, at which point all was well. Except William is so slow getting up the bloody slide he was holding everyone back so we had to keep shouting at him to get his arse in gear and he only had 5 minutes.
It was a good learning experience really. I know what I can get away with and what I can't. I know what William will tolerate and what he can't. I know what might trigger his meltdowns and possibly avoid those situations. I know that I won't be cursed by refusing to buy lucky heather on the seafront. And I know that I need more clothes packing because Haven charged £7.50 for a wash and dry. Daylight robbery!
All in all it was a wonderful few days away, but I feel that it would be difficult to do this without without the extra pairs of hands from my Mum and Dad. That provided us with some much needed time with each of the boys in turn, and a bit of time to ourselves in the morning too, as the boys gravitated towards Grandma and Grandads room instead of ours :D
If you ever do see someone having a breakdown in public, maybe at the park or when waiting for something, particularly at themeparks, then bear in mind it may be someone with autism. Some attractions offer fast track passes for disabled people who find it difficult to queue, so don't whinge and say "oh they don't look disabled", it might be someone with autism, and its really hard for them and their families, so don't judge. And don't give me sour looks as you nearly run over my child with a bike, cos I'll shove my umbrella in your spokes and then you'll have a reason to be sour.
Don't forget your armbands Wottingers!
Monday 3 August 2015
Relax, or not to relax
I'm sorry its been a while since I last posted. Time seems to be flying by, and being a working parent is tough enough without a big dollop of autism in the middle of it.
The school holidays are in full swing, and Si seems to be coping well with the boys being at home. The house is still standing, all pets and humans still unscathed, albeit with an annoying camp of flying ants which seem to have decided to lodge in the walls. Me, I've not been doing do well. I find being a working parent hard, and coming home to the William's behaviour hard to deal with, which I feel pretty guilty about some days.
I'm usually jumped upon straightaway, with William keen to remove my coat the split second I pass through the door, and he gets very worked up if I do not comply. At the moment he is very repetitive, and hundreds of times a day will repeat phrases from Iggle Piggle, from first thing at morning till last thing at night. His speech is very limited at the moment but I know its just a phase but its mentally draining. He has also become pretty naughty this last month or so, and we are working hard on discipline. But how do you discipline a child with autism that *potentially* doesn't really understand what you're asking?
Well that doesn't apply to William at the moment as he knows EXACTLY what he's doing, as he tries to give me a good kicking in the face whilst I try and change his nappy. If he bloody well started using the toilet I wouldn't need to change his nappy! I've told him that but he really doesn't get it.
William's favourite phrase at the moment is "In a minute".
Change bum William! "In a minute!"
Choose your dinner William! "In a minute"
Bath time William! "In a minute".
So we now use a digital timer.
The theory: We set the timer for that one minute and verbally count down from 10 seconds. After that minute, he has to do what he's been told to. Simple eh?
The reality: The timer pisses William off BIG time. Which I guess is a good thing, cos if he doesn't like it, maybe it might make him realise he should do what he's told the first time. Usually he tries to feck off and escape somewhere, and we have to go chasing him round the house with a nappy/facecloth or whatever it is he's trying to get away with not doing. And then he'll say "In. A. Min. Ute."
Now that you can't blame on the autism, its just him being a little gitbag.
We've bought extra timers, cos you can guarantee one of them will end up lodged up my nostrils one day, I don't think it'll be long.
It's not been the best few weeks, I've been stressed out, and have needed to switch off in the evenings to regain some composure.
The theory: A daily soak in the bath, with a fat cuppa, to steady my nerves, calm down after work and gain a bit of energy for the evening before the midnight wakenings.
The reality: my daily soak in the bath is usually interrupted by a little body coming in to have a dump and asking me if I can smell the farts. And then by another little body who thinks its fun to grab the jug and waterboard me whilst I relax. Or keep running the taps. Or playing with the bogroll. Or opening/shutting doors. Or telling me Iggle Piggle has lost his blanket. So basically not stress-relieving whatsoever.
Another theory: Taking the little muttbag for a lovely long walk, frolicking in fields together, splashing in puddles and having a jolly lovely time.
The reality: Sneaking out as quietly as possible to avoid William being aware of my intentions (and thus avoiding WW3), walking with the pooch, no, STANDING with the pooch while she sniffs and pees at every single lamppost/bin/brick, making it just 10 yards in half an hour. She enjoys it anyway.
Its hard. I don't mind admitting its hard. Some people seem to find being a parent a breeze. I'm just not one of them. I cry over it, I think I'm hard done by some days, and find it hard to see the positives in my life. I don't think I suck too much, but I am a pretty grumpy mum some days.
When i'm finding life tough, I barely see beyond autism and the difficulties it brings to our family, and have a little blub or big blub depending on the degree of blubworthy miserableness and need for chocolate. Then sometimes something comes along that really turns things around.
I've had that this week, and the cheer came in the form of photographs taken at a recent photoshoot. More about that next time, but I'll leave you with one of my favourites, and if I'm having a bad time, I'll look back on this and think just how bloody lucky and blessed I really am.
In. A. Min. Ute. Wottingers.
The school holidays are in full swing, and Si seems to be coping well with the boys being at home. The house is still standing, all pets and humans still unscathed, albeit with an annoying camp of flying ants which seem to have decided to lodge in the walls. Me, I've not been doing do well. I find being a working parent hard, and coming home to the William's behaviour hard to deal with, which I feel pretty guilty about some days.
I'm usually jumped upon straightaway, with William keen to remove my coat the split second I pass through the door, and he gets very worked up if I do not comply. At the moment he is very repetitive, and hundreds of times a day will repeat phrases from Iggle Piggle, from first thing at morning till last thing at night. His speech is very limited at the moment but I know its just a phase but its mentally draining. He has also become pretty naughty this last month or so, and we are working hard on discipline. But how do you discipline a child with autism that *potentially* doesn't really understand what you're asking?
Well that doesn't apply to William at the moment as he knows EXACTLY what he's doing, as he tries to give me a good kicking in the face whilst I try and change his nappy. If he bloody well started using the toilet I wouldn't need to change his nappy! I've told him that but he really doesn't get it.
William's favourite phrase at the moment is "In a minute".
Change bum William! "In a minute!"
Choose your dinner William! "In a minute"
Bath time William! "In a minute".
So we now use a digital timer.
The theory: We set the timer for that one minute and verbally count down from 10 seconds. After that minute, he has to do what he's been told to. Simple eh?
The reality: The timer pisses William off BIG time. Which I guess is a good thing, cos if he doesn't like it, maybe it might make him realise he should do what he's told the first time. Usually he tries to feck off and escape somewhere, and we have to go chasing him round the house with a nappy/facecloth or whatever it is he's trying to get away with not doing. And then he'll say "In. A. Min. Ute."
Now that you can't blame on the autism, its just him being a little gitbag.
We've bought extra timers, cos you can guarantee one of them will end up lodged up my nostrils one day, I don't think it'll be long.
It's not been the best few weeks, I've been stressed out, and have needed to switch off in the evenings to regain some composure.
The theory: A daily soak in the bath, with a fat cuppa, to steady my nerves, calm down after work and gain a bit of energy for the evening before the midnight wakenings.
The reality: my daily soak in the bath is usually interrupted by a little body coming in to have a dump and asking me if I can smell the farts. And then by another little body who thinks its fun to grab the jug and waterboard me whilst I relax. Or keep running the taps. Or playing with the bogroll. Or opening/shutting doors. Or telling me Iggle Piggle has lost his blanket. So basically not stress-relieving whatsoever.
Another theory: Taking the little muttbag for a lovely long walk, frolicking in fields together, splashing in puddles and having a jolly lovely time.
The reality: Sneaking out as quietly as possible to avoid William being aware of my intentions (and thus avoiding WW3), walking with the pooch, no, STANDING with the pooch while she sniffs and pees at every single lamppost/bin/brick, making it just 10 yards in half an hour. She enjoys it anyway.
Its hard. I don't mind admitting its hard. Some people seem to find being a parent a breeze. I'm just not one of them. I cry over it, I think I'm hard done by some days, and find it hard to see the positives in my life. I don't think I suck too much, but I am a pretty grumpy mum some days.
When i'm finding life tough, I barely see beyond autism and the difficulties it brings to our family, and have a little blub or big blub depending on the degree of blubworthy miserableness and need for chocolate. Then sometimes something comes along that really turns things around.
I've had that this week, and the cheer came in the form of photographs taken at a recent photoshoot. More about that next time, but I'll leave you with one of my favourites, and if I'm having a bad time, I'll look back on this and think just how bloody lucky and blessed I really am.
In. A. Min. Ute. Wottingers.
Tuesday 7 July 2015
Looking Back
Its almost been a whole year since William started at New Greenhall school. I remember the first days, worrying about what was ahead, would he settle with new people? Would he fit in? How would he cope with taking the bus to school? "He's too young to get on a school bus all by himself!" I remember bleating to Daddy.
We have received William's school report for the end of his first year, and as usual I prepare myself for the "report blub" which inevitably happens whenever I read things about his progress or needs, as its often daunting or upsetting. It was a great read though, detailing how much he loves school and the fantastic progress he's made this year. He is making three word sentences using PECs (cheeky git won't do that at home). Please and thankyou without prompts (cheeky git won't do that at home). Follows simple instructions straight away (cheeky git wont.... hang on there's a pattern here!).
He's very comfortable with physical things, as evidenced by the terrifying pictures sent in his schoolbag of him up a climbing wall, requiring me to down several sherries to steady my nerves after viewing.
Many things that he does in a school environment he will not do at home. We find it difficult to engage him a lot of the time, we certainly can't get him to have his face painted or wear a red nose for comic relief day. I can't even get him in his bloody school uniform, yet school have him dressed up like a star for the Christmas play, complete with tinsel halo. He did look like a slightly embarrassed (possibly traumatised) star but a very cute traumatised star at that.
At parents evening today the staff commented on how well he had matured and grown in confidence since he started. We learned that when he comes into school he will say the names of the other children as they follow him in. I've never heard William say the name of any other children at home, its as if what happens at school, stays in school, like its 2 completely separate entities for him. Which is a shame, because I love to listen to what the kids get up to. Its taken Alex to get to Year 2 for him to actually tell me what he does, up to that point it was "don't know" or "can't remember". I'd love to hear what William is involved in too.
I find it a bit sad sometimes, as school obviously get to see a side to William that I have yet to see. He loves to choose stories, he's never really done that with me and gets cross if I try and read to him. He loves to sing, again that's rare with me. I feel like I'm missing out. Apparently he enjoys anticipating what is going to happen next in a story, which the TA says is something that would usually happen at an older age which is pretty cool. Maybe he's got a great imagination. Maybe he'll one day write books about the Pontipines really being aliens and abducting Iggle Piggle, leaving secret codes in Upsy Daisys bed, which can only be revealed using Makka Pakkas sponge. Ok maybe I'm getting too excited. You never know. Maybe he'll be a rugby player, he's not soft enough for a footballer. Perhaps a shotputter, he flings the ipad hard enough.
William responds well to prompts at school, and music is often used to indicate the time of day at school, for example a song from Peter Pan is used to indicate that it's tidy up time, and he always cooperates. <Frantically searching for the bloody song on YouTube in the hope of a tidy house> I think I need a specific bedtime song because he's still swinging off the lampshade full of beans and its nearly 9pm. I may have to incorporate these techniques at home over the summer, then perhaps my blood pressure may go down. I may even.... get some sleep......
One of the most important parts of his report was the following phrase :
"He interacts in a small group of friends and actively seeks their company". Still gets me all tearry eyed now and I've had the report for a week. In the beginning when I was starting to process this whole autism thing, I found it really difficult to think that William might never really have a friendship or someone to love. I mean, to him, it might never have been important anyway. But to think of him being a loner (by choice or otherwise) was something I found deeply troubling. Seeing the early stages of forming relationships and friendships is really amazing, and encouraging that perhaps he will truly be happy in the long term.
I am eternally grateful to those people who have been involved with our family in this pivotal year. From the charities that have supported us in whatever way - Breaking Barriers North West, Love Autism in the North West, Blessings in Disguise, Embrace.
All the staff at Williams school, who have made such a difference in our little mans life and ours.
All our friends who have stuck by us and have been so understanding of my cancelled playdates when I've struggled. I know I don't see you all often enough but we're starting to really get somewhere now and I shall be pestering you all soon.
All the NEW friends! Without our exchange of stories of food theft, streaking, nappy accidents and teaching our children (accidentally) to swear, this journey would be so difficult.
All the family, who always try their hardest to include William even when its difficult, and treat him like any other pain in the arse 4.5 year old.
To Simon (Daddy) who gets me through the bad times with reasoning, hugs, coffee and peanut butter ice cream.
To Alex, the best big dude ever, who despite being under the cloud today for crossing a room by standing on furniture, is probably the biggest bundle of fun ever (squeezed in a tiny body with an enormous gob).
To William - the best little dude ever, who has taught me a lot about sominex, coffee tolerance and how amazing it is to be a little bit different.
To my dog Nibbler, who copes with being squished, chucked off the couch and trodden on, my best furry friend.
Love you all.
In a minute Wottingers!!
We have received William's school report for the end of his first year, and as usual I prepare myself for the "report blub" which inevitably happens whenever I read things about his progress or needs, as its often daunting or upsetting. It was a great read though, detailing how much he loves school and the fantastic progress he's made this year. He is making three word sentences using PECs (cheeky git won't do that at home). Please and thankyou without prompts (cheeky git won't do that at home). Follows simple instructions straight away (cheeky git wont.... hang on there's a pattern here!).
He's very comfortable with physical things, as evidenced by the terrifying pictures sent in his schoolbag of him up a climbing wall, requiring me to down several sherries to steady my nerves after viewing.
Many things that he does in a school environment he will not do at home. We find it difficult to engage him a lot of the time, we certainly can't get him to have his face painted or wear a red nose for comic relief day. I can't even get him in his bloody school uniform, yet school have him dressed up like a star for the Christmas play, complete with tinsel halo. He did look like a slightly embarrassed (possibly traumatised) star but a very cute traumatised star at that.
At parents evening today the staff commented on how well he had matured and grown in confidence since he started. We learned that when he comes into school he will say the names of the other children as they follow him in. I've never heard William say the name of any other children at home, its as if what happens at school, stays in school, like its 2 completely separate entities for him. Which is a shame, because I love to listen to what the kids get up to. Its taken Alex to get to Year 2 for him to actually tell me what he does, up to that point it was "don't know" or "can't remember". I'd love to hear what William is involved in too.
I find it a bit sad sometimes, as school obviously get to see a side to William that I have yet to see. He loves to choose stories, he's never really done that with me and gets cross if I try and read to him. He loves to sing, again that's rare with me. I feel like I'm missing out. Apparently he enjoys anticipating what is going to happen next in a story, which the TA says is something that would usually happen at an older age which is pretty cool. Maybe he's got a great imagination. Maybe he'll one day write books about the Pontipines really being aliens and abducting Iggle Piggle, leaving secret codes in Upsy Daisys bed, which can only be revealed using Makka Pakkas sponge. Ok maybe I'm getting too excited. You never know. Maybe he'll be a rugby player, he's not soft enough for a footballer. Perhaps a shotputter, he flings the ipad hard enough.
William responds well to prompts at school, and music is often used to indicate the time of day at school, for example a song from Peter Pan is used to indicate that it's tidy up time, and he always cooperates. <Frantically searching for the bloody song on YouTube in the hope of a tidy house> I think I need a specific bedtime song because he's still swinging off the lampshade full of beans and its nearly 9pm. I may have to incorporate these techniques at home over the summer, then perhaps my blood pressure may go down. I may even.... get some sleep......
One of the most important parts of his report was the following phrase :
"He interacts in a small group of friends and actively seeks their company". Still gets me all tearry eyed now and I've had the report for a week. In the beginning when I was starting to process this whole autism thing, I found it really difficult to think that William might never really have a friendship or someone to love. I mean, to him, it might never have been important anyway. But to think of him being a loner (by choice or otherwise) was something I found deeply troubling. Seeing the early stages of forming relationships and friendships is really amazing, and encouraging that perhaps he will truly be happy in the long term.
I am eternally grateful to those people who have been involved with our family in this pivotal year. From the charities that have supported us in whatever way - Breaking Barriers North West, Love Autism in the North West, Blessings in Disguise, Embrace.
All the staff at Williams school, who have made such a difference in our little mans life and ours.
All our friends who have stuck by us and have been so understanding of my cancelled playdates when I've struggled. I know I don't see you all often enough but we're starting to really get somewhere now and I shall be pestering you all soon.
All the NEW friends! Without our exchange of stories of food theft, streaking, nappy accidents and teaching our children (accidentally) to swear, this journey would be so difficult.
All the family, who always try their hardest to include William even when its difficult, and treat him like any other pain in the arse 4.5 year old.
To Simon (Daddy) who gets me through the bad times with reasoning, hugs, coffee and peanut butter ice cream.
To Alex, the best big dude ever, who despite being under the cloud today for crossing a room by standing on furniture, is probably the biggest bundle of fun ever (squeezed in a tiny body with an enormous gob).
To William - the best little dude ever, who has taught me a lot about sominex, coffee tolerance and how amazing it is to be a little bit different.
To my dog Nibbler, who copes with being squished, chucked off the couch and trodden on, my best furry friend.
Love you all.
In a minute Wottingers!!
Wednesday 1 July 2015
Sports Day and Special People
Two years on from Williams diagnosis, and although I'm more at peace with what's going on, I'm not sure I'll ever 'get over it'. There's always gonna be the reminders of what he could have been like when you meet other children his age. Its my problem totally, I just feel a bit sorry for myself every now and again. I'm starting to think that perhaps I'm holding William back a little bit because of my own fears - about what people think of him and us, about people's reaction to his behaviour, the fact that we can't go near public loos, that he can't wait in a queue, that he's still in nappies when he's nearly 5. So, we're gonna start branching out and being a bit more brave. (I might retract that next weekend when he has a paddy in ASDA and starts starfishing on the floor in the biscuit aisle). "Starfish on aisle 4, starfish on aisle 4!"
Now I've never made his autism secret, but as he gets older and starts to stand out a bit more from his peers, I find that letting people know about it can be a help, and not everyone is there to judge. I've not had many negative response so far (runs to touch wood), but I guess one day I'll meet that arsehole and they'll get ten barrels from that sleep deprived woman on the edge.
Yesterday was William's sports day at New Greenhall school. Now I'm not a fan of Sports Day one iota, I was never physically gifted when I was younger, I was crap at PE and crap at Sports Days, and even now I have the co-ordination of a 3-legged centipede. Williams brother Alex has had a couple of bad Sports Days, being traumatised in 2 out of 3 years by not winning medals in his races. So why do we do this to our kids? Is it really so helpful to encourage such competition that children are crying because they're so disappointed in not winning races? I really don't think so and I frigging hate Sports Day. Plus there's always one obnoxious git who's kid wins all the races. Not any of my friends if anyone is reading!
To be honest, I was wondering how Sports Day would be carried out at Williams school. The children there have a vast range of physical and intellectual or mental disabilities or conditions, some are in wheelchairs, some are quite sleepy, some with behavioural problems, others strapped into pushchairs as they are wanderers or runners. (I'm not entirely sure what's politically correct when it comes to describing disabilities so apologies for any offence caused!). I was quite excited to see what they would come up with though and looked forwards to William's race, but secretly expected him to do a runner in the wrong direction or just stand there defiant cos he couldn't be bothered. Which, considering the searing heat, would have been my choice too unless they were waving a giant pack of haribos at the finish line.
Every single child was involved in some way in Sports Day, and I was amazed at how the races were designed to be so inclusive. The children in wheelchairs were pushed along by teachers and assistants, the kids beaming as they whizzed past, some children were guided by the adults so they knew what to do, some had to be dragged as they weren't in the mood to co-operate, but all in all, everyone had a great time.
Williams' race was brilliant. It was quite theatrical, and was linked into the topic they were learning in school, which was "Going on Holiday". Each child was to pick up a holiday related item, run with it and pop it in a suitcase some way up the track . William seemed to struggle with waiting for his turn, as I watched him wrestling with a TA, but when it was time to go he really enjoyed toddling off with his sunglasses. He has a really cute dainty run, almost like a little princess tottering in high heels, which is odd considering he kicks like a mule. He didn't quite get the concept of popping them in the case, so the teacher helped. He managed to sneak them out to play with later ;) He does love sunglasses.
Watching all the different children doing their activities made me tearry, not really in a sad way, but because it was such a privilege to see them being included, and the teachers had obviously thought hard about how they were going to execute this. The teachers, TAs, assistant and deputy headteacher, the bus driver(!) were all involved, pushing children along in buggies and chairs, guiding them, encouraging them, clapping, and making it so much fun. There was so much enthusiam and you could really tell that the teachers cared so much for the children and wanted them succeed. It was magical.
There were no medal winners at New Greenhall, just fun. No sense of disappointment for not coming first, no disappointment at dropping the beanbags, no embarrassment because you missed the cue to run, and all the friends and family watching were cheering on every single child there. I sometimes wish Alex's school could take a leaf out of that book. If you ever get chance to attend a Sports Day at a SEN school you'd understand that it really isn't about winning, it's about taking part.
I've always thought that we made the right decision to send William to a special needs school, and this really affirmed that decision. I don't think that a Mainstream school could ever include William the way that New Greenhall has done in the past year that he's been there. For just 3 hours a day since September, William has been transformed. His speech, his interaction, his behaviour, his happiness and our own. It's an amazing place, and its given William the best possible start to school life.
I don't really know if the staff at New Greenhall understand the impact they have on the lives of the children and their families. I hope they do. New Greenhall isn't just a School for children with Special Needs, its FULL of special people, children and adults.
Please have a look at their website, there's some great stuff on there, look out for William and his chums in the Early Learners blog section :)
http://www.newgreenhall.wigan.sch.uk/
Go go go Wottingers! No not that way! Oi! This way! Come on!
Now I've never made his autism secret, but as he gets older and starts to stand out a bit more from his peers, I find that letting people know about it can be a help, and not everyone is there to judge. I've not had many negative response so far (runs to touch wood), but I guess one day I'll meet that arsehole and they'll get ten barrels from that sleep deprived woman on the edge.
Yesterday was William's sports day at New Greenhall school. Now I'm not a fan of Sports Day one iota, I was never physically gifted when I was younger, I was crap at PE and crap at Sports Days, and even now I have the co-ordination of a 3-legged centipede. Williams brother Alex has had a couple of bad Sports Days, being traumatised in 2 out of 3 years by not winning medals in his races. So why do we do this to our kids? Is it really so helpful to encourage such competition that children are crying because they're so disappointed in not winning races? I really don't think so and I frigging hate Sports Day. Plus there's always one obnoxious git who's kid wins all the races. Not any of my friends if anyone is reading!
To be honest, I was wondering how Sports Day would be carried out at Williams school. The children there have a vast range of physical and intellectual or mental disabilities or conditions, some are in wheelchairs, some are quite sleepy, some with behavioural problems, others strapped into pushchairs as they are wanderers or runners. (I'm not entirely sure what's politically correct when it comes to describing disabilities so apologies for any offence caused!). I was quite excited to see what they would come up with though and looked forwards to William's race, but secretly expected him to do a runner in the wrong direction or just stand there defiant cos he couldn't be bothered. Which, considering the searing heat, would have been my choice too unless they were waving a giant pack of haribos at the finish line.
Every single child was involved in some way in Sports Day, and I was amazed at how the races were designed to be so inclusive. The children in wheelchairs were pushed along by teachers and assistants, the kids beaming as they whizzed past, some children were guided by the adults so they knew what to do, some had to be dragged as they weren't in the mood to co-operate, but all in all, everyone had a great time.
Williams' race was brilliant. It was quite theatrical, and was linked into the topic they were learning in school, which was "Going on Holiday". Each child was to pick up a holiday related item, run with it and pop it in a suitcase some way up the track . William seemed to struggle with waiting for his turn, as I watched him wrestling with a TA, but when it was time to go he really enjoyed toddling off with his sunglasses. He has a really cute dainty run, almost like a little princess tottering in high heels, which is odd considering he kicks like a mule. He didn't quite get the concept of popping them in the case, so the teacher helped. He managed to sneak them out to play with later ;) He does love sunglasses.
Watching all the different children doing their activities made me tearry, not really in a sad way, but because it was such a privilege to see them being included, and the teachers had obviously thought hard about how they were going to execute this. The teachers, TAs, assistant and deputy headteacher, the bus driver(!) were all involved, pushing children along in buggies and chairs, guiding them, encouraging them, clapping, and making it so much fun. There was so much enthusiam and you could really tell that the teachers cared so much for the children and wanted them succeed. It was magical.
There were no medal winners at New Greenhall, just fun. No sense of disappointment for not coming first, no disappointment at dropping the beanbags, no embarrassment because you missed the cue to run, and all the friends and family watching were cheering on every single child there. I sometimes wish Alex's school could take a leaf out of that book. If you ever get chance to attend a Sports Day at a SEN school you'd understand that it really isn't about winning, it's about taking part.
I've always thought that we made the right decision to send William to a special needs school, and this really affirmed that decision. I don't think that a Mainstream school could ever include William the way that New Greenhall has done in the past year that he's been there. For just 3 hours a day since September, William has been transformed. His speech, his interaction, his behaviour, his happiness and our own. It's an amazing place, and its given William the best possible start to school life.
I don't really know if the staff at New Greenhall understand the impact they have on the lives of the children and their families. I hope they do. New Greenhall isn't just a School for children with Special Needs, its FULL of special people, children and adults.
Please have a look at their website, there's some great stuff on there, look out for William and his chums in the Early Learners blog section :)
http://www.newgreenhall.wigan.sch.uk/
Go go go Wottingers! No not that way! Oi! This way! Come on!
Monday 22 June 2015
He likes it, he likes it not.
Likes and Dislikes
One of mums plain duvet with no piddly annoying kiddies characters...! Hurrah!
As William gets older and we learn a bit more about his behaviour, we start to see how much his body language is telling us. Unlike Alex who will publicly (and on top note) indicate how much he hates Frozen and how Elsa should be strung up from a lamp post, William cannot do so as easily.
Its a puzzle trying to figure him out, some days he might make it clear if he doesn't like something, maybe by walking away. Quite often if you're boring the crap out of him he will walk off and shut the door so he doesn't have to deal with you any longer.
So how do we figure out what he likes and what he doesn't like? Well its trial and error.
For a while William had not slept with a duvet on. He preferred snuggling up with my fluffy dressing gown and a crap old cellular blanket. Duvet underneath him was fine, but not on top, which usually meant getting cold in the night and waking (more often than usual). Its taken maybe 6 months and several different duvet covers for me to figure out that he just doesn't like the duvet covers I bought him. So the typical young boy stuff that we thought he would enjoy - Pirates, Cars, Dinosaurs etc. No luck. Cheapo dark blue duvet cover on sale at Aldi - within minutes of putting the damned thing on his bed I get a "night night mum!" as he scurries underneath it the little bugger! So now we know what he will sleep in. Halleluia!
Williams 'blankies' i.e. thieving mums dressing gown to sleep in.
One of mums plain duvet with no piddly annoying kiddies characters...! Hurrah!
Something that we've learned over the years is that William prefers to make a choice. He does need a visual prompt for this though, so when it comes to tea time, its easier to show him a bag of sausages and a box of fish fingers to choose from. He will point and say the word if he's in the mood. Sometimes he will walk off and you just have to guess. Just because he has the option to make a choice doesn't mean he will! Words are too much for William a lot of the time so keeping it simple and showing him something is more likely to get a response. Bribery with sweets works well too.
We are currently in the process of upgrading his bike. Bearing in mind William still loves this little plastic trike thing that has a little lap belt that barely fits round his pot belly, its time to get him a new one. But we cannot choose one we think he might like as a surprise like we could with Alex. Nor can we give him Alex's old bike. Because he's not interested. We will need to take him to a cycle shop and let him choose his own, and pray like Billy-o to the God of Dosh that he doesn't choose a 300 quid bike. If he doesn't make his own decision on something, he will refuse use it. This rings true for most things in his life, from food, games, clothing.
Its great that he has his own likes and dislikes, as you get to discover a bit more about his personality. By giving him 2 options you can eliminate the things he has no interest in, so far we've figured out that he hates character PJs, blankly refusing Skylanders and Disneys Planes. He likes red pesto but not green. He hates Frozen too but enjoys the Hobbit which is ace :D
William's very specific wants and needs do have advantages. Unlike his brother who thinks I have a secret money pit, William very rarely (if ever) demands anything when out and about. Alex always wants this that and the other. Ooh mum I haven't got a car like this can i can i? No Alex you have a roomful of cars. No but this one has a different shade of blue on the door.....
The disadvantages are that you have to try hard to figure out what he wants, as he can't talk about something to show an interest. Unless its chocolate. He always wants chocolate. This week he's been on coffee flavoured chocolate! That's my boy :)
"Burn that bloody dinosaur duvet cover Wottingers!"
Tuesday 9 June 2015
Funfairs and laziness
Hey Folks
Sorry it's been a while since I posted! It's been a hectic month or so, time is flying by. Actually I've been pretty lazy so that hasn't helped either.
We've had a few busy weekends, the busiest day by far was when we went to a special session at Silcocks funfair in Wigan, courtesy of Blessings in Disguise, a charity local to us which arranges events for disadvantaged children and their families. For that morning, only disabled children were present along with their families. The great thing about an event like this is that everyone is equal.
It doesn't matter what the disability is, we are all in the same boat, there is no worrying about how your kids behave in public, how much screaming they do, whether they're struggling to wait in a queue etc, cos we are all the same. This kinda stuff is really important for us, as "Family time" or trips out are really difficult. Its hard to keep everyone happy, and quite often William dictates what we get up to, depending on whether or not he can handle what we have planned, or how long it takes before he gets bored and starts buggering off. Alex misses out on a lot, so this was a great opportunity to let him have some fun too, in a safe environment. Thankfully, I managed to avoid having to go on the freaky shit rides, that was his Dads job :D
Unfortunately I didn't manage to avoid the rollercoaster. Admittedly, the rollercoaster looked pretty tame, and there didn't seem to be very many ill-looking faces as they exited the ride. Bonus, I thought. How wrong I was, and how delightfully amused William was as I screeched my way over the tiddly bumps like a big girlie. The shame.
The sight of children dropping to the floor, melting down was the norm, and no one batted an eyelid. It was a truly magical morning.
Fast forward on the same day. What a difference a couple of hours makes. In Tesco, the sight of William throwing himself on the ground in the middle of the aisles was not so widely accepted. Granted, shopping is a bit crap, and William was pretty miffed that he wasn't allowed to mess with the playhouse on display in the kids section. The sight of me dragging him out of that playhouse was not a pretty one, but I didn't fancy forking out for a broken house as he continued to kick the crap out of it while I politely tried to coax him out. People walked past with disapproving looks, not even a sympathetic smile. We left quickly after that, after just picking up a fraction of our shopping. He has a knack for being a pain in the arse in public.
Lesson learned - Click and Collect.
The thing is, I've not yet grown that tough skin that says "f*ck you and your opinions about my child". He's not spoilt, and he's not a brat. I take that back, he's not a brat ALL of the time. He's just a kid. And I would challenge anyone who has ever given me disapproving looks about his behaviour to come and have a go and see how you deal with it. And watch me chuckle as you fail miserably.
We are currently under guidance of the Behaviour Support Team. I guess I hoped they had some kind of magic wand and fabulous advice and suddenly everything would become easy to deal with. I was told that we were doing everything right when it comes to his behaviour: ignore the unwanted behaviour if it was safe to do so. Yes that does mean leaving him sprawled on the floor in Tesco, and if he's in the way of people, dump him in a quiet area before leaving him sprawled.
So that magic wand fizzled out in a "Poof of arseness" and we carry on as before. We do have some good ideas regarding his temper though, so fingers crossed that those will work over time.
<My apologies in advance to whichever stores we visit in future, if you do see me on CCTV dragging a small body across the floor to a secret place, I assure you its just William and he's truly alive. >
In contrast to the evil eyes of Tesco, we visited White Moss Garden Centre one weekend. William had a fascination with the counters, you know the ones with the little doors. The lady at the till was so lovely and not a hint of annoyance. That's the kind of acceptance we need so badly in society. I suppose it would be easy for me to just tell everyone we meet that he has autism and it might make people more understanding, but why should I have to? It doesn't define him. If everyone got their heads out of their arse and had a bit more patience then the world would be a better place.
Finally, if you have time would you check out Ben on facebook An Autistic Author . He writes a blog on the other side of autism and he's a bloody fab chap. And I'm proud to do a weekly blogspot on there for him, so if you're missing my posts on here then check out Ben's blog cos I might have done something there :D
"Get off the frigging floor Wottingers!"
Sorry it's been a while since I posted! It's been a hectic month or so, time is flying by. Actually I've been pretty lazy so that hasn't helped either.
We've had a few busy weekends, the busiest day by far was when we went to a special session at Silcocks funfair in Wigan, courtesy of Blessings in Disguise, a charity local to us which arranges events for disadvantaged children and their families. For that morning, only disabled children were present along with their families. The great thing about an event like this is that everyone is equal.
It doesn't matter what the disability is, we are all in the same boat, there is no worrying about how your kids behave in public, how much screaming they do, whether they're struggling to wait in a queue etc, cos we are all the same. This kinda stuff is really important for us, as "Family time" or trips out are really difficult. Its hard to keep everyone happy, and quite often William dictates what we get up to, depending on whether or not he can handle what we have planned, or how long it takes before he gets bored and starts buggering off. Alex misses out on a lot, so this was a great opportunity to let him have some fun too, in a safe environment. Thankfully, I managed to avoid having to go on the freaky shit rides, that was his Dads job :D
Unfortunately I didn't manage to avoid the rollercoaster. Admittedly, the rollercoaster looked pretty tame, and there didn't seem to be very many ill-looking faces as they exited the ride. Bonus, I thought. How wrong I was, and how delightfully amused William was as I screeched my way over the tiddly bumps like a big girlie. The shame.
The sight of children dropping to the floor, melting down was the norm, and no one batted an eyelid. It was a truly magical morning.
Fast forward on the same day. What a difference a couple of hours makes. In Tesco, the sight of William throwing himself on the ground in the middle of the aisles was not so widely accepted. Granted, shopping is a bit crap, and William was pretty miffed that he wasn't allowed to mess with the playhouse on display in the kids section. The sight of me dragging him out of that playhouse was not a pretty one, but I didn't fancy forking out for a broken house as he continued to kick the crap out of it while I politely tried to coax him out. People walked past with disapproving looks, not even a sympathetic smile. We left quickly after that, after just picking up a fraction of our shopping. He has a knack for being a pain in the arse in public.
Lesson learned - Click and Collect.
The thing is, I've not yet grown that tough skin that says "f*ck you and your opinions about my child". He's not spoilt, and he's not a brat. I take that back, he's not a brat ALL of the time. He's just a kid. And I would challenge anyone who has ever given me disapproving looks about his behaviour to come and have a go and see how you deal with it. And watch me chuckle as you fail miserably.
We are currently under guidance of the Behaviour Support Team. I guess I hoped they had some kind of magic wand and fabulous advice and suddenly everything would become easy to deal with. I was told that we were doing everything right when it comes to his behaviour: ignore the unwanted behaviour if it was safe to do so. Yes that does mean leaving him sprawled on the floor in Tesco, and if he's in the way of people, dump him in a quiet area before leaving him sprawled.
So that magic wand fizzled out in a "Poof of arseness" and we carry on as before. We do have some good ideas regarding his temper though, so fingers crossed that those will work over time.
<My apologies in advance to whichever stores we visit in future, if you do see me on CCTV dragging a small body across the floor to a secret place, I assure you its just William and he's truly alive. >
In contrast to the evil eyes of Tesco, we visited White Moss Garden Centre one weekend. William had a fascination with the counters, you know the ones with the little doors. The lady at the till was so lovely and not a hint of annoyance. That's the kind of acceptance we need so badly in society. I suppose it would be easy for me to just tell everyone we meet that he has autism and it might make people more understanding, but why should I have to? It doesn't define him. If everyone got their heads out of their arse and had a bit more patience then the world would be a better place.
Finally, if you have time would you check out Ben on facebook An Autistic Author . He writes a blog on the other side of autism and he's a bloody fab chap. And I'm proud to do a weekly blogspot on there for him, so if you're missing my posts on here then check out Ben's blog cos I might have done something there :D
"Get off the frigging floor Wottingers!"
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