Ch-ch-ch-ch changes!

Living with ASD is pretty tough, but like with most lifelong conditions, life is what you make it. Sometimes you can get worn down with negativity and woe-is-us, but it really doesn't have to be like that.

I've had a bad week and have been evaluating life. Looking back over the last couple of years since Williams devastating diagnosis, we see how far we've come. Its only when you compare him to his peers that you see how far behind he is developmentally.
Answer : don't compare! Why should it matter who starts reading or who says their alphabet first. There's no prizes for that. But perhaps one day Willy might win 50 quid in a banana-eating contest.

Some of our good points:

Support
Williams school keyworker was at a cookery session this afternoon with us and she was telling me how much his speech had come on and how great he's been. Watching her interact with him is very special, she obviously has a "knack" with him and he really is very fond of her. The work that school put into the kids is second to none.

Personality
Theres a lot of personality starting to show now and we've waited a long time for that. If I say "Love you William" at bedtime, he tells me to "shush shush". He loves playing with my hair and hiding in it, he mutters under his breath when he's miffed and insists we go for cake when we visit Sainsburys. He loves fart noises and hates tidying up.

Speech
Teaching William words can be fun. I was watching the school doors open and close today, and teaching him "the door is closing" and "door is shut". I hadn't banked on his version of "shut" to sound like "shit" so that was a fail. He's already learned "Christ's sake" (my fault) so better avoid shutting doors for a while.

Brothers
The boys are changing so much, there is now some interaction between them and William toddles after his big bro like a little sheep to play outside (and find biscuits). He does still need a great deal of adult support to do basic activities and can't follow instructions, but they can play on bikes together outside and giggle like any other siblings.

Its a giant leap from the withdrawn little boy who always sat alone playing in a corner 2.5 years ago. He still has days like that but we're used to his ways now and we accept that. I guess we all have days where we just want to sit in a corner and not be bothered, I know I have!

"Shit the door Wottingers!"

Let's Talk.

One of the things I love about coming home from work is hearing about what everyone has been doing in the day. Alex can usually give me a running commentary about every aspect of his life, including how many farts he's done or how many chips he's eaten for tea and the reasons why one particular chip may have not been edible. If I ask him what he's done at school he'll say "nothing" or "can't remember", then will burst out some random facts about Nelson Mandela or Samuel Pepys when he's ready.

William can't tell me what he's been up to, even if he's had the most amazing day ever. I find that pretty hard to deal with some days to be honest.

Williams' class at school recently had a trip to a Safari Park. He was obviously shattered when I got home and had been a busy boy, but could not tell me what he's seen or done. I tried several simple-worded questions to try and get a response, I talk about animals, the school bus, the teachers, and nothing gets a response, not even one word. Instead, we go back to the familiar routine of repeating lines from Iggle piggle and that's all I'm gonna get.

I rely on the school teachers and assistants writing in his planner to find out what he's done in a school day. He doesn't come home and say any words that might give me a clue, but on odd days he will say something out of the blue, like count numbers up to 30, or repeat lines that the teacher may have said weeks ago.

As it turns out, despite being wary of the monkeys hijacking the school mini-bus, William enjoyed himself on the school trip. Apparently he really loved the sealions and watched these for ages.

It's hard to think that William might never really talk for pleasure or have a 'chat' with his mum, and its difficult that I have to learn about how he's doing or how he might be feeling through someone elses observations.

On the other hand we have Alex gob-almighty whose brain is constantly whirring away thinking of crap to tell you. And I love it, I'm astonished that someone so small can retain so much bizarre information :)

Take time to listen to your kids guys and gals, even if you think its annoying drivel. It's not to them, it's important. Yes, even the conversation about what colour their snot was at break time. You could be in my position where your child CAN'T talk to you, and that's pretty sad.

We WILL get there one day with William. I WILL have that chat. It might be through pictures or symbols, but it will happen one day, I'm sure of it.

Watch out for the swinging monkeys, Wottingers!