Well tonight is the last night before I go back to work after a week off, with 4 nights spent at Haven near Blackpool with the boys and my Mum and Dad. Jesus Christ what an experience that was!
It takes a lot of planning to go on holiday at the best of times, but when you're bringing your own little sumo wrestler with autism, you need to think ahead. So not a case of how many clothes to bring, its have I got the right kind of clothes for William. He's currently refusing to wear a lot of stuff, so a quick dash to Asda gets me a 3 pack of plain-ish tshirts and me praying at the till that he'll actually wear them. Which he did thankfully.
Do I need his precious blankies? Will he sleep without them? Will he sleep in the duvet cover they provide? Will he sleep in the bedroom there in the caravan? Will he actually get INTO the caravan? Christ I never thought of that. Praying again as I pack the stuff in the bloody case and trying not to think about the possibility of me being seen stuffing a screaming small child up the steps of a caravan and the subsequent police presence.
No Ipads or tablets allowed on this trip. Good idea? Not just because I wanted him to enjoy his trip without computer games, but because I'd like to avoid the costs of repairs should he decide to fling the thing into the caravan windows when Igglepiggle fails to load on YouTube. DVDs instead then. Which was almost a disaster as I got the Igglepiggle DVD jammed in the DVD player.
The boys enjoyed the drive to Blackpool with Grandma and the usual "Oh look there's the tower! Oh silly me its a pylon" x50. William just enjoyed the scenery flinging past his eyes, he seems to quint and look at his surroundings at different angles, which is quite cute to watch and I always wonder what he's really thinking.
We visited Blackpool zoo before we booked in, Alex loves the zoo. William wasn't too bothered about the animals as usual and just pottered about happily and smearing ice cream all over himself.
When walking about we often have to steer him around objects and people, it's like he doesn't really notice they're there. Either that or he really doesn't give two stuffs about what's in his way. I've not decided which yet but knowing William probably the latter. It was a busy day at the zoo and when William starts to repeat words or phrases its a sign that he's not feeling right and its time to go. Alex chose some souvenirs from the shop and off we went to the caravan.
There were plenty of activities at the holiday park, but as most of these you had to pay for, it wasn't worth trying it. William doesn't usually enjoy set activities, instead choosing to do what he wants and when he wants to. Alex wasn't particularly bothered either, so we spent a lot of time outside of the camp. One thing William did enjoy is putting 2ps in the arcade machines, which proved bloody expensive but he asks for very little.
We spent a day in Blackpool itself, shopping for treats and seeing the beach and tower. It was here that William was most difficult. Having absolutely no sense of danger makes mooching around quite stressful. Its a constant cycle of directing him out of the path of people, grabbing his arm to prevent him going in the road or meandering towards the path of an oncoming tram.
I would consider getting a special needs buggy, but i'm not sure if he would even get into one now as its been so long since he was in a buggy. He certainly wouldn't tolerate reins or a harness. A special needs buggy is an expensive piece of kit though, and second hand ones are snapped up pretty quick. It may have to be a real option though if this continues. Its pretty terrifying, and you really do need eyes at the back of your head. Its stressful and tiring and you can't relax. At least in the zoo it was all contained and safe, although I did consider throwing him over a fence and swapping him for an aardvark.
This is where having the Grandparents comes in handy (as escorts, not for swapping children with aardvarks). Quite often when walking on the promenade, William would dawdle along at snails pace, and Grandad would dawdle alongside him and everyone was happy. I got some quality time with Alex which is so lacking at home due to the high level of adult support that William needs, so we could talk, look at birds on the beach, collect shells etc. That was pretty peaceful :)
Another place where extra hands are handy is in the pool. William is a proper water-baby. He loves everything about swimming. But with that comes his total lack of fear in water, and his insistence of being in the deep end. He has no problem with not putting his feet down, and went under a couple of times as he struggled out of our arms. So another thing on my shopping list is for a large swim ring that he can lounge in, stay in the deep end and still be safe.
One particular notable event was the infamous trip to Stanley Park. We had a lovely morning on the park there, a nice little trip on the Thomas train to the boating lake, and watched Alex and Daddy floating about on the Swan pedal boat (that was a sight!). At this point William is grumpy and tired, and has a big strop on, flinging himself on the floor (nearly getting run over by a sour-faced miserable old cow on a bike to whom I gave an equally sour look). We took the Thomas train back to the park and I foolishly decided to let him have a go on the inflatable slide. Little did I know that there was a ticket system, and we had to WAIT. Bloody hell. Many people with autism find it really difficult to wait, and William is no exception. And we knew it. And so did every person at the park. He could not understand why he couldn't get on that slide right then, so had a full blown meltdown for 10 minutes while we waited our turn. No distractions could console him, it sounded like he was being throttled, and some of the other parents waiting probably wished he would have been. It was my first proper experience of a public meltdown, and it was embarrassing, but I know this won't be the last time and I need to get a thicker skin. It happens, and yeah, to an outsider it would have looked like he was being a shit, but he wasn't. He was genuinely heartbroken until the moment he was allowed on the slide, at which point all was well. Except William is so slow getting up the bloody slide he was holding everyone back so we had to keep shouting at him to get his arse in gear and he only had 5 minutes.
It was a good learning experience really. I know what I can get away with and what I can't. I know what William will tolerate and what he can't. I know what might trigger his meltdowns and possibly avoid those situations. I know that I won't be cursed by refusing to buy lucky heather on the seafront. And I know that I need more clothes packing because Haven charged £7.50 for a wash and dry. Daylight robbery!
All in all it was a wonderful few days away, but I feel that it would be difficult to do this without without the extra pairs of hands from my Mum and Dad. That provided us with some much needed time with each of the boys in turn, and a bit of time to ourselves in the morning too, as the boys gravitated towards Grandma and Grandads room instead of ours :D
If you ever do see someone having a breakdown in public, maybe at the park or when waiting for something, particularly at themeparks, then bear in mind it may be someone with autism. Some attractions offer fast track passes for disabled people who find it difficult to queue, so don't whinge and say "oh they don't look disabled", it might be someone with autism, and its really hard for them and their families, so don't judge. And don't give me sour looks as you nearly run over my child with a bike, cos I'll shove my umbrella in your spokes and then you'll have a reason to be sour.
Don't forget your armbands Wottingers!
