The school holidays are in full swing, and Si seems to be coping well with the boys being at home. The house is still standing, all pets and humans still unscathed, albeit with an annoying camp of flying ants which seem to have decided to lodge in the walls. Me, I've not been doing do well. I find being a working parent hard, and coming home to the William's behaviour hard to deal with, which I feel pretty guilty about some days.
I'm usually jumped upon straightaway, with William keen to remove my coat the split second I pass through the door, and he gets very worked up if I do not comply. At the moment he is very repetitive, and hundreds of times a day will repeat phrases from Iggle Piggle, from first thing at morning till last thing at night. His speech is very limited at the moment but I know its just a phase but its mentally draining. He has also become pretty naughty this last month or so, and we are working hard on discipline. But how do you discipline a child with autism that *potentially* doesn't really understand what you're asking?
Well that doesn't apply to William at the moment as he knows EXACTLY what he's doing, as he tries to give me a good kicking in the face whilst I try and change his nappy. If he bloody well started using the toilet I wouldn't need to change his nappy! I've told him that but he really doesn't get it.
William's favourite phrase at the moment is "In a minute".
Change bum William! "In a minute!"
Choose your dinner William! "In a minute"
Bath time William! "In a minute".
So we now use a digital timer.
The theory: We set the timer for that one minute and verbally count down from 10 seconds. After that minute, he has to do what he's been told to. Simple eh?
The reality: The timer pisses William off BIG time. Which I guess is a good thing, cos if he doesn't like it, maybe it might make him realise he should do what he's told the first time. Usually he tries to feck off and escape somewhere, and we have to go chasing him round the house with a nappy/facecloth or whatever it is he's trying to get away with not doing. And then he'll say "In. A. Min. Ute."
Now that you can't blame on the autism, its just him being a little gitbag.
We've bought extra timers, cos you can guarantee one of them will end up lodged up my nostrils one day, I don't think it'll be long.
It's not been the best few weeks, I've been stressed out, and have needed to switch off in the evenings to regain some composure.
The theory: A daily soak in the bath, with a fat cuppa, to steady my nerves, calm down after work and gain a bit of energy for the evening before the midnight wakenings.
The reality: my daily soak in the bath is usually interrupted by a little body coming in to have a dump and asking me if I can smell the farts. And then by another little body who thinks its fun to grab the jug and waterboard me whilst I relax. Or keep running the taps. Or playing with the bogroll. Or opening/shutting doors. Or telling me Iggle Piggle has lost his blanket. So basically not stress-relieving whatsoever.
Another theory: Taking the little muttbag for a lovely long walk, frolicking in fields together, splashing in puddles and having a jolly lovely time.
The reality: Sneaking out as quietly as possible to avoid William being aware of my intentions (and thus avoiding WW3), walking with the pooch, no, STANDING with the pooch while she sniffs and pees at every single lamppost/bin/brick, making it just 10 yards in half an hour. She enjoys it anyway.
Its hard. I don't mind admitting its hard. Some people seem to find being a parent a breeze. I'm just not one of them. I cry over it, I think I'm hard done by some days, and find it hard to see the positives in my life. I don't think I suck too much, but I am a pretty grumpy mum some days.
When i'm finding life tough, I barely see beyond autism and the difficulties it brings to our family, and have a little blub or big blub depending on the degree of blubworthy miserableness and need for chocolate. Then sometimes something comes along that really turns things around.
I've had that this week, and the cheer came in the form of photographs taken at a recent photoshoot. More about that next time, but I'll leave you with one of my favourites, and if I'm having a bad time, I'll look back on this and think just how bloody lucky and blessed I really am.
In. A. Min. Ute. Wottingers.
No comments:
Post a Comment